Would you like a little cheese with that?

What a long week! Especially considering I was only at work for four days. It definitely didn't help that we had a training until 7:00last night. I feel completely spent. Turns out my modified life is just like my old life but with less mobility and more pain.

I feel like I've plateaued a bit this week,

probably because--as expected--I haven't had much time to take care of myself or my knee. I went to the gym on Tuesday, had PT Wednesday, couldn't go to the gym Thursday because of the aforementioned training, and now I'm trying desperately to will myself to get out of bed and get on the exercise bike. My knee was ok for the first day that I was back at work, but it's been getting progressively sorer since then. Every evening, it's been really swollen and stiff.

I've always struggled with the idea of work/life balance, and that feels even more true now. I've worked about 38 hours in the last four days. Ok, I know that's not a lot for some people... But my job is mentally draining, and also requires early hours and a long commute. Now that I'm trying to get to the gym every day, I'm acutely aware of how few hours that leaves me to myself. If I get home at 6:30 and try to get to bed by 10:00, that's not a lot of time for exercise + making dinner + necessary mental detoxing (watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix). I just don't see any way around it though. I've tried to say I'm going to leave work at 4:00 every day, no matter what, but then things simply don't get done. It takes a lot of time to do a decent (not even a great!) job planning and assembling materials for everything, and my school doesn't provide prep periods.

My soccer team had a game at 7:00 last night--right when my training for work ended--and the field is literally around the corner from my school, so I went by to say hi to everyone for a minute. Turns out that was a mistake. It made me so sad! I hate that I'm not going to be able to play again, and I hate imagining my life without soccer and my soccer team. I know this sounds dramatic, but it's become a very important part of my life, and I hate that I have to give it up. I'm struggling to redefine myself as I am now, without things like soccer.

This has turned into a bitchfest, which wasn't what I intended. I shouldn't write when I'm tired and cranky. It's the weekend, yey! I get to sleep in tomorrow! Happy Friday.