Uncertainty

I'm graduating in July, assuming all goes according to plan. So do I stay or do I go?

Whenever I come home, I realize how much I miss my friends, most of whom are still on the west coast. I feel like I've made some good friends in New York, but no one comes close to the friends I have out here. There's something about people who've known you forever--it's like family almost. When I meet up with friends here, even with people I haven't seen for years, it feels so easy and normal. I really miss having close girl friends like that.

It's not just the social thing though--I miss the west coast in general. I feel like life is easier here. People don't work as hard or think as much about money, and every aspect of life isn't an utter ordeal out here. In New York, I feel like everything is so hard. Going to the grocery store, meeting up with friends, going hiking... All these normal things are so complicated in the city! And it was okay while I was still really excited about living there, but now that that's worn off, I'm just tired of putting forth so much effort and expense to do normal, simple things.

I should probably teach in New York for a year, I guess? I'm not really sure how that works. I'm not even sure where I'd go if I were to move. I think probably San Francisco. Seattle is too rainy, Portland is too small and too rainy, and I don't like LA. San Francisco seems like a good happy medium: still very much a big city, but also mellower and less expensive than New York, and with easy access to the outdoors. I have a few close friends down there too. Hmmm.

And then, maybe I'm looking at the west coast with rose-colored glasses. Whenever I'm home, all I do is sleep, eat, and hang out with friends. Of course it feels laid-back. So clearly this requires some more careful consideration...