Several of my students have trouble regulating their emotions, and sometimes they have unbelievable screaming tantrums. Their feelings are so strong and beyond their control that they overpower them. They scream--contrary to all logic and reason--until they're completely exhausted. I feel like I'm having that kind of tantrum inside. I'm shaking and I can't breathe and my feelings are totally out of my control. But I can't scream, either. Maybe that would feel better? I don't know, is it possible to have an internal tantrum and be numb at the same time? This isn't a great analogy.
I'm so so scared. I love my mom and I don't want to lose her and there is no scarier word in the English language than cancer.
Life, you really suck sometimes. In a dark way though, I have to appreciate your irony. I had a good day at work, and when I went to the store to buy groceries, everything I wanted was on sale. I guess I brought this on myself, because I was thinking about how this was really my day. So there you go. I am a devout pessimist: I staunchly believe that nothing can go well without paying for it later. Maybe I've accrued too much happiness and good luck this year.
It's crazy to think that everything else on Earth is happening in exactly the same way that it was happening an hour ago for everyone but me. How can that be, when I feel like I'm breathing water all of a sudden?
